Select happiness now
I feel like I’m in a bubble of appreciation today. Tired but grateful. Hungry but grateful. Scheduled but grateful. So much to do but so grateful still.
I almost typed “incomplete but grateful.” It’s nearly an automatic next response when I observe all that is left to be done. Publishing. Planning. Packing. Erranding. Engaging. Nourishing. Noting. Strategizing. Supporting. Scheduling. Resetting. Releasing. Remembering.
I’ll be complete when… I’ll be happy when… Time to push just a little harder, a little longer…
But we’re never really done. The list is never totally complete. When one door closes, etc. When I first read about the idea of never being “done” with my to-do list, it was positioned as a grand, life-changing truth. You’ll never be done, so stop worrying about it. Yay! But I didn’t feel an exhale of release or a dose of perspective. Simply a feeling of “oh yeah??” The achiever in me would show you, Universal Truth. What do you mean we’ll never be done? I can wrap up a punch list, hit a milestone, achieve a goal, rock out an aspiration… oh Yeah! Cue: Kool-Aid man running through a wall… that energized, sugar-filled pitcher personifies my make-it-happen-ness. And then, once I do it, I’m done. Check. Cross it off. Hand me the certificate. I’m done… right…? All done now?
But time and time again, after my accomplishment was realized, I’d step into the next moment with a magnetic, momentum-filled energy of “so, what’s next??”
How can I reach further… impact a broader range of people… support my family more significantly… go deeper with my spiritual understanding…? I was so strongly pulled by the “what’s next” momentum that I didn’t even realize I was functioning in a never-ending, achievement-spoked cycle.
But today - in my tired, hungry, to-do list-looming fog - I both realized and accepted: I will never be done. And for the first time, I didn’t allow my ego to respond with its typical over-achieving, just-try-harder default. Instead of pushing, I prayed.
And surrendered: I’ll never be done.
And whether it was the veil of appreciation that shrouded my morning or the clarity in my second cup of coffee, I realized that I have been functioning in a co-dependent relationship with my achievements. They needed me to be made manifest, and I needed them to feel whole, sufficient, and enough.
You ((achievements)) complete me.
But what if I didn’t require the completion of tasks to drive my feeling of completeness? What if I could welcome in personal contentment with who I am in spite of rather than because of what I do?
For me, for decades, what I accomplished was braided tightly into the plat of who I saw myself as: a degree holder, a high performer, a senior leader, a multi-passionate entrepreneur, a devoted mama, a spiritual teacher. All titles attributed to achievements + accolades. Who I was outwardly… based on what I produced and how well I produced it.
Was achievement woven so tightly into my self-perception that I would ever be able to answer the question “how do you spend your day” with a response like “by being happy”?
Being happy - just like being grateful - is a choice. We can choose at this very moment to direct our attention to 10 things we’re appreciative for. Just as we can select at this very moment to be happy.
Happiness is not dependent on an achievement or a task to be completed to realize it. And if I’ve noticed anything worth trending during my years as an achiever, happiness often doesn’t consistently correlate with these results. How long after an achievement do you sincerely experience happiness? A month… a moment? And (be honest) how long after its completion does your beautiful, achieving mind ask “but what next?”
So what if instead of striving for achievements that may - possibly only momentarily - yield happiness, we selected happiness right now?
And let me be super clear about this, beloved achievers: we can still aspire, achieve, goal, dream, desire, create, cultivate, improve, + accomplish. In fact, we must. We are here to expand. And this can only happen if we keep progressing. Not aggressively or extremely or to a degree that overcomes or overwhelms our emotional + physical beings.
No more, Dear One.
When we select happiness now, everything else is icing on the cupcake of our life. When we choose to be happy at this moment, then we no longer depend on and give our power away to an external achievement to make us happy. We take this rite + responsibility on ourselves.
When we select happiness now, we are resigning to our divine rite: to be happy.
That’s it. And that is everything.
If you are interested in a few more paragraphs on the subject of how to choose happiness now… or if you’re leery of the validity of this simple guidance… or you can’t even begin to accept this truth for yourself at this time, that’s all okay. Know that you’re exactly where you need to be on your journey. I see you, and you’re wonderful. I will be writing more on the subject soon.
Until then, our practical takeaway this week is a simple mantra. I say this to Gabby on the reg, and just today before her nap, as I hugged her close and repeated it to her sweet soul, mine received it too.
Repeat this to yourself, Dear One…
I love you every moment of every day.
No matter what you do. Or don’t do.
I love you. Always.
Self-love is also a massively wonderful and layered subject, and we’ll be slicing through each buttercream-slathered, lemon curd-dolloped layer in posts to come (I just felt like I needed one more baking analogy in here…)
Until then, make the self-love mantra your own. If you’re in a place where reciting it to yourself just isn’t aligned, say it to your child or your spouse or God or your dog. Make it yours, and it will serve you in its practically, divine way.
From my iridescent bubble of appreciation, please know how deeply grateful I am that you are choosing for you to be right here with me right now ♥️