Mother yourself

I adored being pregnant. I fully leaned in to the miracle at play during the 9 months of pre-natal prep time, and I allowed myself to be totally and completely cared for. Not just by my sweet husband and amazing family + friends, but by myself as well.

After 4 years of reflecting on why I enjoyed being pregnant so much - outside of the total remarkability of taking part in creating a human life, of course! - my realization arrived. Being pregnant gave me the biggest, most visible, most socially acceptable reason to take amazing care of myself. And to do what I felt drawn to do. Like…

Say “no” when one more thing was just too much.

Wear things that were more comfortable than fashionable.

Ask for the help that I craved.

Eat the foods that I craved.

Tell others how I was feeling when I was feeling it.

Cry in the middle of a conversation.

Go to a yoga class and do the moves my body was asking for rather than the ones the instructor was cuing.

Go for a walk outside and stop to examine the unique coloration of an autumn leaf simply because I wanted to.

Carry a crystal around with me in public and overtly stare at it in my palm because it helped my active mind return to my moment.

Take a jar of Nutella + a spoon into the tub with me.

I did all of those things. Each and every one. Without question. Without second-guessing. Without self-critique. And without concern for other’s perceptions.

I simply thought: “anything for the baby.” And it was in this mindset of care for another that I totally and truly allowed myself to care for me the way I most required.

Let’s hang with that idea for a moment… caring for a sweet growing soul within me inspired me to care for my own sweet growing soul. Okay. I’ll accept that parallel. So, what now? Do we need to be pregnant to totally and authentically offer ourselves the unabashed TLC our soul is in need of? That may be tricky… and unsustainable… or unachievable altogether… and the 9-month interval math isn’t quite in our favor to consistently lead a soul-led life, huh?

So instead, what if we could flip the script and accept our worthiness of that motherly TLC any time…? Perhaps without even having any externally-facing reason to do so? Okay. I like where this is going.

That would mean we choose to mother ourselves. Yes. That. Every day. We decide that our sweet, tender inner being is worthy of being cared for with love, compassion, kindness, and authenticity. That if we take the time to listen, our soul will tell us exactly what we require. And that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of this personal prioritization. Anything for the baby. You, Baby!

If you’re anything like me, you could use a bit of practice dropping your care of other’s perceptions of you, amiright? So let’s simplify: today, we can decide to care more about our own well-being than what others think of us. Hmmm… how does that sit with you? Let’s simply start with “deciding.” Maybe just say that sentence out loud once or twice. “Today, I decide to care more about my own well-being than what others think of me.” That sentence alone is a pretty powerful advancement. I have a feeling we’re going to come back to the perceptions theme, so let’s pin that topic and let that affirmation be enough. Be just right. I don’t know about you, but stating that one out loud felt gooooood. Way to go, Baby!

Just in case your thinking-mind is currently rationalizing the priority of your self-care compared to the 57 other pending to-do’s, here’s your hook. When we give ourselves the care we require, we are more fully capable, energized, and eager to care for others. Family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, clients, baristas, you name it. So really, by taking sweet care of ourselves, we’re able to show up more fully, more fresh, and so much more patiently in our every days. How’s that for intellectualizing why we need to care for ourselves? Fill our cup? Put on our oxygen mask? All the things!

Who’s with me??

So now we get practical, of course. How can you mother yourself today? Perhaps that question is a sufficient reflection cue for you to take to your journal and hang out with a bit. But if you’d rather a facilitated tactical takeaway, then here it is, Baby.

I jotted down a few of the things I said to Gabby today. Nothing extraordinary or strategized. Just simple mom-ing statements. I’ll share them below in the hope that one will snuggle your soul in a sweet motherly embrace. Then you can repeat it aloud, write it on your mirror in lipstick, make a little canva image with it + save it as your phone background, meditate on it, repeat it again. As is the case with all of my loving guidance, do make it yours.

Affirmations to help you mother yourself:

♥️ Take your time, sweetheart. There’s no rush.

♥️ You’re doing great, love. I’m proud of you.

♥️ Have some water, honey. It’s so important to hydrate.

♥️ I love you every moment of every day. No matter what you do. Or don’t do. I love you. Always.

♥️ Let’s have some quiet time together. Would you like to read or color?

Mama, I deeply pray that a statement or two above will aid you in offering yourself the tender love + compassion that your soul is craving. Right here, right now ♥️