Live with intention
We all know we “should” meditate. Just like we “should” work out. And we “should” put that box of TastyKakes down and pick up a salad. *She types with an empty buttercream-iced cupcake wrapper beside her.*
But it’s not very kind to go “shoulding” all over ourselves. And - perhaps even more notably - “shoulding” rarely drives action. Not sustained action. Or enjoyable action. Or inspired action.
Feeling like we should do something doesn’t influence us to change. And even if it did, it doesn’t influence the change to be enacted in an inspired energy.
True integration always involves intention.
Whatever we give our attention to, we give our energy. And intention-setting is the simplest, most accessible way to direct our attention. And our energy. On purpose.
Aligning intention to any change, action, or scenario can amplify our experience of it. This practice was one that I adopted years ago. On my yoga mat.
In the height of my stressed, corporate existence, I was practicing yoga a few times a week and pursuing a yoga teacher training certification. Always on the hunt for “the” solution to my stress, the thread of calm that connected all yoga teachers I met drew me to the practice. If yoga had aided their attainment of such a peaceful presence, perhaps it could offer me the same outcome.
I was there with one clear objective: must reduce stress. And a few evenings a week, I would roll out my mat, surrender into Child’s Pose, and flow. And I noticed a theme during my time on the mat.
I loved when the class began with choosing an intention.
Moving from the bustle of a busy day to a space where I was encouraged to wear leggings, close my eyes, and breathe was like a warm, EOD (“end of day”) hug. But my over-thinking mind didn’t jive with too much silence in a practice. So the act of choosing an intention was like a little word problem for my mind to solve as I grounded into my seat and let go of my day.
I would close my eyes and set my mind on the task of choosing an intention. “Hmmm what could I use most today? That 3:00 meeting was particularly frustrating. How about we go with ‘peace’?” And then I would welcome “peace” into my practice.
When I lost my balance in Tree Pose, I would get frustrated for a moment, and then think “peace… return to peace… welcome peace.” Or when I would start thinking about the details of the Powerpoint Deck I had to finish later that evening, I’d come back to “peace… allow this moment to be peaceful.” Or when districting sirens would rush past the studio, I could return, again, to “peace.”
After weeks of benefiting from this intentional reminder, I began to wonder: if setting an intention at the beginning of a yoga practice could guide my movements on the mat, then why wouldn’t a daily intention support the movements of my day?
I decided to experiment.
Before work began, I would choose an intention. “Joy.” “Laughter.” “Love.” “Let go.” They were frequent repeats in my intention cycle. And each and every intention served me in a beautiful and unexpected way.
Just as on my mat, I could anchor to my intention as needed. During stressful or taxing moments, a return to “joy” or “love” settled my nerves and focused my attention. Centering on the intention could consistently uplift my energy from the point of frustration and either welcome the positive sentiments into my moment or shift my awareness to where they existed.
What I didn’t anticipate were the breadcrumbs of intention that I began to find scattered throughout my daily path.
In addition to hooking to my intention in tricky moments, I began to observe the intention appear throughout my day. Almost magically. And totally unexpectedly.
When my intention was “laughter,” more humorous happenings would occur or I’d stumble on a favorite Adam Sandler movie when channel-surfing and end my day in belly-laughing bliss.
When my intention was “simplify,” I drove behind a car with the Thoreau quote “simplify, simplify, simplify” on the bumper sticker.
When my intention was “let it go,” an Instagram post with the same verbiage appeared in my feed and Elsa’s hit song came onto my radio during my commute. Clearly encouraging me to break out in song in the privacy of my car and majorly amplifying the energy I brought into the office.
A little intentional treasure hunt began to unfold in my days, and I started to observe the thread of alignment throughout it all. It was all quite engaging and began to bring something quite divine to my very ordinary days.
And I began to notice more joy in those very ordinary days. More joy and less stress.
I even created an intention sheet before delivering Gabby which I brought to the delivery room. It included three affirming intentions to help guide her arrival. Looking back at that momentous day, each intention was met.
An intention is not a goal. It’s not something to be measured.
An intention is a positive attribute, a virtue, an inspiring phrase. It is something to be felt. And it brings additional meaning to whatever it aligns with.
I have chosen to set an intention at the beginning of a day, a new month, a new year, and even before engaging in a particular interaction.
Whatever we give our attention to, we give our energy to. By intentionally choosing a word or sentiment to support and guide our day, we are gently aligning our energy to that focus as well. On purpose.
To practically get started, here’s your 1-2-3-4 of intention-setting:
Choose a word. Select something you’d like to welcome more of into your day. Calm, patience, happiness, beauty, and the list goes on. Maybe you pick one of my previously used intentions to get you primed for the practice. If “joy” lights something up in you, go with it! Think about the word. Breathe into it for a moment. You can even write it down in a journal, on a post-it, or on your mirror. I used to post mine every day in my Instagram stories to both amp up and share the lovely energy of intention.
Make it your own. The true beauty in this practice is not the framework used to welcome it into your day, but rather the personal practice itself. The authentic unfolding. The allowing and the listening. Notice when you find yourself choosing your word. Notice what words or phrases most serve you. Notice how you experience the intention throughout your day. Welcome the practice to be refined specifically as you require.
Start again. If you forget to set an intention one day, begin again. If you conclude your day and notice that you didn’t notice your intention anywhere at all, begin again. With consistency of practice, we allow the support to become natural for us. And with consistency of kindness, we accept ourselves exactly where we are. No matter what you do. Or don’t do. On any given day, I could have questioned, critiqued, or even ignored my intention’s presence altogether. On some days, I do. But every moment is a chance to start again.
Enjoy it. Notice your own breadcrumbs. Journey along your treasure hunt. Have some fun with it! The more enjoyment you find in this practice, the more magnetic it will become for you. And that magnet will help to attract more and more of the intentions that you’d like to experience in your day.
At the time of writing this chapter, my husband and I have just started (once again) to engage in our daily intention-setting practice together. (Yes, Matt will set an intention with me!) And at the start of our day, we’ll share with one another what we’ve selected. And at the conclusion of our day, we’ll share how that sentiment served us.
Today, Matt chose “love,” and I welcomed “peace.”
It doesn’t matter how many times you use or don’t use a particular word, all that matters is that it serves you. It anchors you in tricky times. It uplifts you along your path. And it delights you in between.
And it doesn’t matter how many times you start again. In actuality, the more re-starts, the more deeply you are training yourself to practice presence. Because every moment you observe yourself having forgotten is a moment of conscious presence. And a chance to start again.
Don’t go “shoulding” on your intention-setting practice. Let it serve you. Welcome it into your days. Allow it to arrive authentically for you. Let it be inspiring. And perhaps then, it can inspire a new way to approach new things and practices. Or even offer a new way to experience the sameness of your ordinary (beautiful) every day.
So how about, just for today, you choose to start again with intention? How does “peace” feel for you today? Shall we welcome peace into our now? Breathe into it for a moment?
Peace be with(in) you, sweet mama!