Fill your cup

What fills your cup?

“The what” is actually the same for each of us. “The how” is where the approach varies.

Let’s start with “the what:” energy.

Energy fills our cup. Not coffee. Not Chianti. Not even a zero-proof Hopwatr. When our cup feels empty - when we feel empty - we are lacking energy. We need to replenish, recharge, rest, refuel, or renew. We require energy, and we must gather it up in our own way (we’ll get to “the how” shortly).

Energy is in constant motion. Up and down. Back and forth. In and out. Giving and receiving. Every single interaction we have involves an exchange of energy. And everything is an interaction. We are either receiving energy from an interaction or we are giving our energy to an interaction. Interactions we receive energy from fill our cup. Interactions we give energy to drain our cup.

It is that simple.

So simple that our minds might raise an eyebrow in disbelief.

Do you recall the whole “energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be transferred or transformed” concept from high school physics? I wasn’t a big physics gal, but that one stuck with me for some reason. Maybe for this reason. For this day. And for this message.

When we start from a space of scientific belief, our minds tend to let their guard down a bit. And that’s what we need - to relax our minds and let this truth in. To welcome it to settle into our beings. To refrain from resisting it or brushing it off as “too simple to be significant.” And to let it inform us, inspire us, and enable us. Because, mama, what would be more enabling than more energy in our being? Amiright??

We are constantly a part of the energy “transfer” cycle. Giving, receiving, receiving, and giving. Energy plays a role in everything - every thought, every action, every idea, every chore, every conversation - everything.

Think about a conversation you recently had that you left feeling drained. In that particular conversation, you gave more energy than you received. And the volume in your cup was transformed (in this case: decreased).

Think about an activity you recently performed that you left feeling uplifted. In that activity, you received more energy than you gave. And the quantity in your cup was transformed (in this case: increased).

Now that we’re on the same page about “the what,” let’s talk about “the how:” self-care. In order to consciously prioritize the filling of our cup, we must intentionally care for ourselves. How we practice self-care is unique for each of us. We may have some energy-replenishing care tactics in common, but “the how” must serve you authentically, personally, and precisely.

And so, the goal is to become more aware of what specifically fills your cup (gives you energy) and what drains your cup (decreases your energy). Taking the time to observe how interactions influence your energy can be personally empowering. Taking the time to notice what lights you up can enable your own self-care more than all the massages ever could.

In a previous blog post - Shine your Light - I offered a three-step approach to assist you in getting to know what increases your energy / brightens your light / fills your cup. These are all descriptions of the same thing; enablers for you to be the best version of yourself.

Today, I’d like to add one simple pre-step to this approach: pause.

Whenever we identify the next best area for personal improvement, we turn ourselves into a problem to be solved. And the mind Loves a good problem. If you’re tired, allow yourself to be tired. Allow it to guide you to a slower pace - maybe just for a bit - and allow it to cue your timely self-care. Rather than jumping quickly into the next area for personal optimization, breathe. Nourish yourself with a moment or an hour or a weekend of space. Allow yourself to just be. And welcome yourself to find neutral.

We can’t leap from an exhausted to a blissful state of being. There are several steps to arrive there, and sometimes we need to simply find our way to grounded, even footing.

When you allow yourself to pause - when you welcome a bit of space into your day and into your being - you can truly begin to see, to notice, and to observe. In this space of pause - of a moment, an hour, or a weekend - you can try out a cup-filling tactic or two. And from the gift of space, you can begin to understand what most authentically serves you. And what doesn’t.

I’ve been reflecting on some of my own energy-generating favorites, and I’m happy to share them with you below. “The how” will always to unique to you. Sometimes it will even vary for each of us depending on the day, the season, the moon cycle, or how much sleep we got the night before. Be kind to you. And allow yourself some time and space to discover.

Cup-filling favorites:

Praying, meditating, journaling, dancing, walking in nature, doing yoga, creating, arranging flowers, sky-gazing, enjoying a treat, taking a hot shower, laughing, spending time with uplifting loved ones, spending time with God, spending time unscheduled, watching the sunset, reading, gardening, and writing.

If you’re not jiving with items on the list, it’s okay. In time, your own list will emerge. I will continue to assist you in discovering and refining what most authentically serves you. Supports you. Fills your cup.

Stay with me. This is going to be fun. Empowering. And really quite lovely!